Imagine this---your toilet floor drain back flows so that all the fetid excrements comes out of it and floods your bathroom floor. I suspect it's a clog in the pipe or probably the septic tank is full. You can't do anything about it for the moment because you don't have the money. And anyway, there's a pandemic, so I have doubts about calling a plumber and letting him (or them) in the house. Photo by Daniel Fazio on Unsplash.
So when it happens, we wait about 15 to 30 minutes to make the flooding subside and then clean the floor of everything. It sucks! I hate it! But what can I do? So we just learn to live with it. You can't enjoy your bathroom and toilet like ordinary people do theirs. We have to suffer.
Then my wife, for whatever reason, has cervix infection that needs Colposcopy and which costs P40K. That includes all the fees plus the swab test. She's just underwent a medical procedure last August involving her uterus that cost some P80K.
And add to all this our dilapidated house, my acne on the nose (and acne has also infested my sons. I'm just thankful to God that they are still good-looking despite the stupid acnes), my tummy bloating and the heart palpitation it sometimes triggers (which is very annoying), the pestering clog in my right ear, my skin allergies, unending runny nose and sneezes due to the same allergies, GERD and the nasty feeling that you need another round with the toilet even right after you just had one---and then this small cyst on my butt.
I mean, imagine spending hours on the toilet and nothing seems to come out anymore more so you start washing and bathing and preparing to leave your house. But when your in a public vehicle and away from home, you start feeling like you need to go to the toilet again.
Nope, I don't have constipation (again, thank God!). I have productive bowel movements and twice a day at that. But there's this odd feeling you need to go to the toilet once you're out of the house. But when you do that---go back to your house to use the toilet---nothing happens. The same when I sometimes go to sleep. Yeah, I know. It's probably stress.
But I am often very relaxed and cool. I don't care much about things and I have a "so what?" mentality about life. Jesus said do not worry about anything. I believe that. But anyway, there it is. You have problems with bowel movement.
I don't know why these things are happening. I never prayed for them to happen. I don't need them to happen. But there they are. Like the stupid rats that are always there even if you have killed a lot of them. And the ants that get inside your clothes and on your towel---for whatever reason. Your clothes and towels are newly washed and after you fold and keep the in your cabinet, stupid ants start going in them. You don't prayed for these things and yet you get them automatically.
Why wouldn't that happen to the things I DO PRAY FOR? I've been praying for a lot of things I badly need but they're not granted. Like having my blogs and e-books make enough big profits for me so I can pay all my debts then have a profitable business so I'd stop relying on men (and not be controlled by them) and start really receiving directly from God through my online business.
I often see dog or pet owners immediately attending to the needs of their animals. They can't bear to see their pets suffering so they make a way to make them comfortable pronto. I know God can do that to me as well. I'm not his pet---I'm his servant and son through Christ---but why do I seem neglected? My wife served the Lord from her teenage years in church, and so did I, and yet we now live like this.
I'm not saying our service deserves reward from God because rewards and blessings are purely by his grace and mercy. But if those who never served him get good things and comforts in life, why not us? Are we so undeserving compared to them?
Nonetheless, I still believe God is good and merciful and he always blesses us and provides our needs. Though often I don't see how. I'll stick to what the bible tells me than to what I'm experiencing in life.
